Saturday, November 11, 2006

The Blogger widget is screwed up, too.

Y'all, I am home. I have two new names for my collection (note: I collect cheesy hair salon and pet grooming salon names like Hair Affair or Groomingdale's): A pawn shop called "Happy Hocker Pawn," and a hair salon called "The Best Little Hair House..."

It really does have the dot-dot-dot in it. I don't know why. People, I had the roughest trip ever. Somehow or other I kept missing turns and getting lost and stuff, only to find my way out no problem or find something even better (like a Crate and Barrel) by accident. I made it through alive, but let me tell you it was so frustrating. The first rental car I had was a Ford Taurus. I picked it up and got on the freeway, and as soon as I got going 55 or so the steering wheel started shaking so badly I couldn't steer. Went back to work and had them bring me another car (I really did ask the kind gentleman at Hertz to bring me something that was not a Ford). This one was awesome - a Mazda 6. If you ever buy another car, you must get one that has the mute button for the stereo in the steering wheel. I love the mute button. Me and the mute button became best friends on this trip.

I have been to New England in the fall, but it is absolutely nothing compared to driving over Monteagle mountain on the I-24 in November. If you ever get a it. It was amazing. I had to mute the radio and just stare at the trees and try not to drive into other people. (Did I mention I love the mute button?)

I tried to find the 17th St exit off I-75/85 for IKEA like Google said, but there was none. I got off in the middle of rush hour at the next exit (by Georgia Tech) and by a sheer miracle of God managed to find my way back. Then, it turns out they were having THE WORST ROAD CONSTRUCTION IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD on the 400, which was where my hotel was. So I had to drive to it another way, and I did not experience the HOURS OF DELAY the ominous-looking tv announcers were calling for. Instead, I experienced hours of traffic lights and 35mph speed limits. But no construction!

The hotel was under construction and the lobby was decorated in sheet rock. I got to my room. It stunk. It smelled like a man who had not taken a bath in oh, weeks had gotten all nice and sweaty and nekkid and rolled around on the bedspread. That was spectacular. (They put me in a new room, but there was no hand soap.) You may ask, what kind of cheap-arse hotel room has no hand soap? The AmeriSuites hotel in Alpharetta, Georgia, that's who. (I expected better.)

I got through my meeting and got home okay and I have a story to tell y'all tomorrow about just how redneck I've let myself become being here in the South for so long, but I need pictures. Because I don't care how nice the light is for movies, people should not leave Christmas lights strung up all year round.

I am so glad to be home! Y'all!


Blogger gray la gran said...

welcome home :)
i can't imagine the odor of your first room. i can't imagine the look on the face of the folks at the front desk when you explained why you wanted a different room.
a girlfriend and i went to stitches east in atlantic city a few years ago (our last time). the hotel was a holiday inn. it was holiday-hell. it was soooo nasty.
the first room they put us in, we had to stand on top of the beds to peer out the windows near the ceiling ... and when we did see out, we saw our windows were flush with a rooftop and loaded with garbage and broken glass. not to mention the carpet was probably from the 70's and had waves of lumps and creases all over it, and the bedspreads were probably of the same era.
we complained, and were moved to a much *better* room with chainlink fencing on our balcony, which had a perfect view of an all-night pawn shop and a parking garage. at least the sliding glass door opened so we could *enjoy* the ambiance of that shit hole.
how did we deal? we had lots of stoli vanilla and ginger ale and oodles of yarn to keep us occupied.

8:06 AM  
Blogger KSD said...

My mother still talks about how breathtaking the leaves on Monteagle were the year my son was born. He came along in late October, so when they headed back to Nashville, the leaves were prime. They stopped and took photos on a drive they'd made hundreds of times.

Welcome home.

2:19 PM  
Anonymous Malena said...

Ok, cheesy hair salon names for $200. A couple of months ago on our way to Toledo Bend, in a tiny little town near the Louisiana border, was a little bitty salon named Curl Up and Dye. I don't think I'll find anything to top that . . .

11:03 PM  

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