Monday, March 29, 2004

two movies I saw this week: the ladyk1llers (very funny and fun) and eternal sunshine of the spotless m1nd.

ESOTSM had some great themes: that we are attracted to the same kinds of people over and over without our memories of why someone isn't good for us; that people over time will usually tear each other down and relationships will usually fall apart based on little picky crap things; that women expect different things than men, namely, women want to talk and communicate and that communication defines the relationship, whereas men tend to see relationships as more about being together.

i don't think i would want to forget anyone i have loved, even if it hurt. there haven't been that many.

i also watched this movie called 'my life without me' -- a girl who is 23 and married because of a teen preg finds out she has terminal illness and doesn't tell anyone. she makes a list of 10 things to do before she dies. one is to fall in love with someone who is not her husband to see what it is like. that bit is sad because her husband really does love her. also she is disengaging from that relationship so it won't hurt so much to leave it. in the meantime she falls in love with another man and he just breaks my heart, the perfect mix of real person and paranoia. he is shy but somehow still believes in the good, that's great, i really thought he was wonderful and complex. i'm just sorry it had to be in the context of adultery. too bad. anyway, i guess i am musing about relationships again.

i am just so tired of the crap guys give about not making up their minds that it was good to see a couple of movies where the guys knew what they wanted even if it was misguided. i don't even know what my expectations of a man are, but i know it is not someone i can have some emotional share-fest with on a constant basis. i don't care about being verbally intimate. i think intimacy is a lot more than talking. and i sense a weakness in guys who are verbally needy that really bothers me. i don't know, i'm more attracted to emotionally reserved people. sometimes, though, i have learned that the most emotionally screwed up people tend to be reserved. that is not attractive. 'come here go away' is retarded. what i am talking about is a healthy person with his crap together who does not feel the need to be overly emotional and gushy all the time. i guess once in a while is all right but it doesn't do a lot for me.

i hear people gush praise and automatically think 'insincere.' gushing is stupid.


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