I made a mistake yesterday.

I don't know how to explain it except to say that I have suddenly realized that I am on hold for someone or something.

There is another element to it that makes it absolutely undesirable and impossible, but the main thing is the feeling of God standing behind me saying NO. And the feeling I can't shake of being 'on hold' for something.

I am giving blood today, and as usual the drive is on a Monday when I have my lowest-point day. I will have to swap out a high day today and do the low thing tomorrow or Thursday.