Thursday, September 12, 2002

Last night was a quiet night; another episode of Law & Order and then I watched the tail end of 60 minutes. The anchor was despicable - imputing his own liberal sentimentality on the rest of the US - his questions were filled with moral equivalency and the language of appeasement.

Then the president spoke and the cobwebs blew away again. His clarity, perception, depth and calm filled me again with confidence that he is the right man for this time in history.

Then I watched 9/11 - the documentary shot by Jules and Gideon Naudet - for the next two hours. Last time the sound of the bodies hitting the buildings bothered me the most. That jumpy look of anxiety and fear on the firefighters faces every time they heard another body hit amazed me.

This time it was the screaming when they got to the North Tower lobby. Jules said he turned away when he saw the people screaming and just couldn't film that.

I am thankful he didn't.

Afterward, with tears still streaming down my face, I went outside and looked at the stars. I found the Great Square of Pegasus, Andromeda, Triangulum, Perseus, and Cassiopeia. In the peace and dark of another cool autumn day, I realized what everyone else has been talking about is true. After the hell of the last year, the roommate troubles, difficulty at work, the health scare, the awful black hole of 9/11, I am alive. For some reason I am still on this planet.

Get busy living or get busy dying. I keep hearing that in my head. I think there must be some substance to it.

Now, how to do that?


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